I never know when one of my ideas for my newsletter will lead me to unexpected discoveries. I’ve frequently used the image of the Clown Car to refer to today’s GOP, and was planning to use it again today when I decided I needed to know more about this concept. One of the most remarkable things about a clown car is how many clowns can come rolling out of the car when it stops in the middle of the circus ring. Here’s what the internet tells me about the origins and features of the iconic Clown Car. You can’t say you weren’t warned.
The first clown car was introduced in the 1950s by Lou Jacob of the Ringling Brothers Circus. He is also known for popularizing the red rubber ball clown nose. His clown car was successful after four years of prototypes and various accidents.
To fit all the clowns in the car, they take out everything inside the car. Everything. Seats, consoles, door panels. The driver sits on a milk crate. They tint the windows so no one can see what will happen next.
On average, a clown takes up three cubic feet of space; this means 40 clowns could fit inside a car with a hypothetical 120 cubic feet of space. The number is less in practice because they need to breathe, have props with them, and get out of the car. Usually a clown car holds 14-21 clowns, but the record is 31 clowns. So there.
With this out of the way, let’s move on. The 2016 GOP presidential field was crowded but it didn’t approach a Clown Car record, with a total of 17 more or less serious candidates in the race. This year, the GOP has a ways to go if they want to compete with 2016. I don’t think they’ll get there, but the campaign season is still young.
With this week’s campaign launches by South Carolina Senator Tim Scott and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, the GOP field includes a total of seven announced candidates.
TFG announced in November of 2023, apparently hoping to buy some protection from criminal prosecution in 2024 by being a formal candidate. It hasn’t worked and it won’t work. He was followed by the following individuals:
former South Carolina Governor and UN Ambassador Nikki Haley (February 14, 2023),
businessman Vivek Ramaswamy (February 21, 2023),
former Arkansas Governor and US Representative Asa Hutchinson (April 6, 2023),
talk show host and failed California gubernatorial candidate Larry Elder (May 1, 2023),
South Carolina Senator Tim Scott (May 19, 2023),
Governor DeSantis (May 24, 2023.
It is expected that the following individuals will declare their candidacy soon – perhaps in the next week or so, and certainly before the end of June:
Governor Doug Burgum of North Dakota (who?)
Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie
Former VP Mike Pence
New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu
Miami Mayor Francis X. Suarez
Former Texas Representative Will Hurd
Former Michigan Representative Mike Rogers
And of course, my own Governor, Glenn Youngkin of Virginia, who has been waffling about running for President since BEFORE he was elected Virginia’s governor in 2021.
So we’re not at 2016 levels yet, but the field is getting crowded. If all of these folks declare, and no one drops out, we’ll be at 19 candidates. Because they all dislike TFG, and because their voters will divide their support a dozen different ways, TFG will win again, as in 2017. None of these candidates want to see that happen.
Very simply, all of these individuals are facing the same problem. They all agree on two major points:
The GOP is certain to lose if it nominates TFG in 2024. I say this with all the confidence Goddess gave me.
None of them want to get out front of the other candidates and be the stalking horse that draws the wrath of the Bully of Mar-A-Lago. This is what happened in 2016; the 17 candidates all believed that TFG’s campaign would flame out and they would be left holding the reins of power, so none of them were willing to enter any sort of compromise that would coalesce the Team Normal Voters in order to defeat Team Crazy – even though they knew that Team Crazy was, well, Crazy.
They appear to be doing it again. It’s easy to lose the thread amidst the noise of campaigns, but they are all using the same playbook. They claim to be “looking forward” and don’t engage with questioners who want to ask questions about TFG. They broadly lay claim to elements of the MAGA agenda but reference doing it “without the drama” or by being “ends oriented.” They claim to have a positive vision for America (this is specifically Tim Scott’s schtick), without explaining how they will achieve this while TFG sits at Mar-A-Lago polishing his sword of vengeance.
I was listening to the most recent episode of Pod Save America while I was on my walk this morning, and they laid out a very interesting calendar. The earliest GOP party primaries are in expected to be in February, with Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina holding their events in that month. The rest will be in March. Most delegates will have been chosen by March 19, and the Republican National Committee will hold its official nominating convention from July 15-18 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
You may recall in political news from last week that the judge in TFG’s criminal case in Manhattan announced that he has scheduled his criminal trial for March 25, 2024, advising TFG that he should not plan anything during that week so that he can appear in court. TFG is, of course, bloviating about how this is electoral interference and shows how anti-Trump EVERYONE IN THE WORLD is. He is playing the victim card for all it is worth. If TFG hasn’t clinched the nomination by this trial date, it’s hard to see how he continues to campaign while literally on trial. On the other hand, if he HAS clinched the nomination and everyone else has officially dropped out, the GOP will face the situation where its anointed candidate is potentially a convicted felon facing jail time could possibly be out of jail pending sentencing during the GOP convention in July.
And of course, we are also waiting to hear about criminal indictments from DA Fani Willis in Georgia and special prosecutor Jack Smith in Washington, DC. Both of these prosecutions are expected to result in indictments sometime before the end of July. TFG of course will see these indictments as further proof of how far the rot has gone, but the other clowns in the car will have to navigate this throughout their campaigns.
Let’s be clear. Not one of these individuals likes TFG. Not one of them wants him to be POTUS again. But they are afraid to alienate him, his donors, and his blindly loyal MAGA voter base. They feel like their only path is to be the alternative that is still standing when he crashes and burns. They would like him to crash and burn sooner rather than later, but they can’t say that (at least not in public – there’s a lot of evidence that they have been saying this behind closed doors for years).
Love the clown car background info. Don't love the GOP version. 🤮
I like the clown car analogy. Glad there’s at least one woman in the car, but, please. She doesn’t disgust me in the way those other clowns do, but I just don’t find her to be a credible candidate for the office. However, I like the idea of whipped cream pies in the face of them all.